


the dreamer and the pretty boy

by jeonginssweetheart



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Coming of Age, Confusion, Denial, Dreams vs. Reality, Dreamsharing, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, I Made Myself Cry, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Bad At Tagging, Insomnia, M/M, Poetic, Soulmates, What is real?, i just dont rlly know how to tag it cuz, like legit three times, mostly proof read by my friend uh, okay its a cool story i promise, pls love it i put a lot of effort into it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-13
Updated: 2018-11-13
Packaged: 2019-08-23 03:40:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16611221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jeonginssweetheart/pseuds/jeonginssweetheart
Summary: there wasn't much to it. they share a dream, every night.but felix is in denial that it's real and hyunjin is thinking too much about it.





	the dreamer and the pretty boy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [A_Purple_Dragon_Cat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Purple_Dragon_Cat/gifts).



> welp hello  
> this is a thing i've had in my notes for far too long, sat unfinished for about three months  
> so i've finished it and fixed all the typos and shit, or at least i hope i have but i kept writing this instead of sleeping, and then fucking continuing after like two hours of sleep so
> 
> also, a big like, shoutout?? ig to my fucking great friend @A_Purple_Dragon_Cat, cuz she helped me plot this and she proofread over most of it for me so owo ily i'll dedicate this to you!
> 
> anyway to those reading i hope you enjoy, pls leave kudos and comments if u do im needy

it always happened in the same place.

a singular, large oak tree, accompanied by soft grass and delicately scented flowers, perched lonesome on a steep hill. below, nothing but a crystal blue sea- an ocean surrounding the hill in which the water was so clean and so fresh that you could see a perfect reflection. above, a sky, seemingly always changing. sometimes, it was pale blue, full of fluffy clouds. other times, it was joined by the setting or rising sun and licked with splashes of blues and pinks and oranges and purples. but most of the time, it was a lovely navy blue, with bursts of bright stars and always a full moon, no matter what time of year it was.

as for the boy who knew this place, growing up, he was genuinely no different from other children. he was always sat on his bedroom floor or jumping on his bed or running around the house, pretending to blast bright magic from his fingertips or wield heavy long swords that he had to grip with both hands. he’d fight off dragons and monsters and witches and anything that dared cross his path, always with one goal- to save the pretty person locked away somewhere, imprisoned by the evil godmother or hidden by the dragon.

as he grew older, the once colourful magic started to turn dull, and the long swords became too heavy. the dragons and monsters and witches became too strong and too scary, and eventually, he began to give up, knowing that in the end, the pretty person would still be locked away somewhere, imprisoned by the evil godmother or hidden by the dragon.

see, as felix aged, so did his fears, along with his sadness and the constant feeling of unexplainable guilt and sorrow. his home life, school life, and just life, in general, were slowly turning to shit. everything went downhill the moment he began to question the fantasy world he had lived in. slowly but surely, his real life started seeping in. it was like he had swum underwater, and the moment he tried to break the surface and take in a breath of air, he was pulled under again.

slowly but surely, the only monsters that existed to felix were the monsters and voices in his head. the only place he felt safe in now was the utopia he had created as a kid whilst he slept. the wondrous place with the ancient oak tree, crystal clear waters and beautiful night skies and nice smelling plants and soft grass and just- happiness radiating from everywhere.

it was the only place he felt safe in. the only place that he wouldn’t be judged for anything. 

the only place that he truly felt happy, because he was able to mature there with the help of that pretty person he had always wanted to save from his mind. the pretty boy aged and matured with felix, and every night that felix is actually able to sleep, the pretty boy pays him a visit on his special island.

when felix was reaching his birthday a few years ago, he acted as if hwang hyunjin were nothing but an imaginary friend. someone that felix created when he was little to be his friend, when everyone else turned him away. hwang hyunjin was the pretty boy that felix was always thinking about, and the pretty boy that he tried to save, and the same pretty boy that taught him how to get through high school alone.

for a while, felix thought that hyunjin only existed in his mind. he was always there in felix’s dreams, with his plump lips and soft hair and well cared for skin, speaking to him and reassuring him in his alluring voice and cheering him up with gentle touches and enchanting giggles, which made felix question how fake hyunjin was.

for every night, their interactions seemed so real and the things that hyunjin would talk about going on his own life seemed like nothing felix could imagine himself- not since his imagination left him. but felix stopped questioning himself, scared of driving himself insane.

one night, quite recently, felix had gone to bed with stinging eyes from the lack of sleep, not surprised to find hyunjin already sitting under the tree, headphones in and a newly made flower crown adorned on his head. without saying much, felix sat down next to him. an arm wrapped around his shoulders for a split second, before he was gently pushed so he was lying down, head resting on hyunjin’s lap. felix lifted up his hand, gently pulling the headphones out of hyunjin’s ears so they could talk.

“i thought you wouldn’t come again.” hyunjin’s voice faltered, a sad softness to it that felix rarely heard.

“i haven’t been able to sleep the last few nights,” felix and hyunjin sighed at the same time, “tonight, i didn’t have much choice- it was either sleep now or pass out tomorrow.”

felix smiled lightly when he heard hyunjin giggle.

“i need to talk to you though. i have a question.” felix smiled sadly, staring up at hyunjin’s face, noticing how the moonlight reflected a soft glow off of his features and the wind messed his hair gently.

it felt too real, “are you,” he paused, uncertain, “are you real?” his pulse quickened.

“are you a real person, hyunjin?”

hyunjin was silent, “i think so,” there was a thoughtful look on his face, “i think i am, but i can’t give you a proper answer.”

felix sighed, nodding. was he crying? maybe. a few crystal tears began to trickle down his cheeks. he was confused. confusion and frustration and sadness just took over his senses, and he heard hyunjin gasp.

“no wait, don’t cry-” hyunjin began to blabber, almost begging, in multiple ways, for the boy to calm down, gently wiping each tear away with his gentle touch.

the touches felt way too real.

the way the wind fluttered past them felt way too real.

this. 

this dream felt way too real.

a cloudy feeling fogged his mind. he stood up, roughly (maybe too roughly- he hadn’t noticed it but the taller boy winced in pain), pulling his hand away when hyunjin tried to grip it. 

“felix, please wait-” hyunjin’s voice was nothing more than a buzz in the background. 

his vision began to cloud, head began to pound, and a pain stung his arm as he began to pinch it. why did it feel so real?

after only a moment, felix woke up.

an intense pain throbbed somewhere in felix’s head as he shot up. his hands went to gently rub at his eyes, but they were met with a wet warmth. he was crying. letting out a loud sigh, he threw his covers off of his body and padded along the cold floor until he reached his kitchen.

“i’m not going to sleep,” he muttered to himself, “i can’t sleep until i know the truth,” he turned on his kettle, beginning to brew a coffee. 

why was he so anxious over this? he had no reason, and it confused him. but nonetheless, he spent the next few days pumping his body with cheap, watery coffee, constantly blasting something- whether it be a tv show or music loudly, and keeping every light on in his house. he began walking around outside in the cold weather wearing shorts and shirts or taking cold showers to try and keep him awake. 

at some point, he realised the repetitive cycle was starting to drive him insane. it was around day five, when the hallucinations started happening. he’d see people that weren’t there, see weird figures in the corner of his rooms or hear things that no one else could. his mood was terrible, constantly zoning out or snapping at people. dark circles had made itself a home under his eyes and despite the twice daily showering to help him stay awake, his skin was drying out and losing its glow and his lips were chapped and causing him pain. 

but none of that pain was anything close to the throbbing in his head. a constant banging, constant buzz in his ears and a constant migraine. he took multiple painkillers, but that just seemed to worsen it as he seemed more and more tired with each pill.

come the seventh day, he was reaching an absolute breaking point. he had run out of coffee powder and milk and was too exhausted to walk the full two fucking kilometres to the closest convenience store. calling a taxi hadn’t even crossed his mind, and he decided it would just be easier to walk a few blocks to a nearby cafe and stay there until it closed, drinking his sorrows away through highly caffeinated drinks. 

shuffling over to his mirror, he saw someone almost unfamiliar staring back at him. they looked literally dead, the only thing reminding him that the person was himself was the constellation of freckles on his cheeks and curly locks of some orange shade hair, which people had told him made him look like an orange.

chuckling randomly, he had reached into his drawers and pulled out foundation, attempting to patch up the dark spots under his eyes and make himself look presentable. 

it failed, but he deemed it well enough and put on a coat before walking outside. the hallucinations were something he had become used to and didn’t care much for how his random giggles and drunk appearance scared other people. somehow in his sleep-deprived state, he managed to make it to said cafe, and order himself a coffee.

when approaching the register, he was met with the usual worker (changbin, his name was, or something similar. felix failed to make sense of what was written on his nametag) who gasped when he saw felix. 

“how long has it been since you slept last?” he asked, voice full of concern for the younger male he barely knew. he raised his eyebrows when felix simply laughed quietly.

“seven days? maybe eight. i haven’t kept count,” he shrugged, and by the look on his face changbin could tell the conversation was over.

after ordering three lattes, one after the other, each with two shots of coffee and three sugars, he was feeling only a little better. by now, however, he seemed to be on some kind of hyper-awareness where everything caught his attention. every time someone coughed or cleared their throat or spoke or made any type of noise his attention would immediately drift there.

after a few hours and one more double shot three sugar latte, his attention landed on the door, which opened and welcomed someone new for the first time since felix had downed his second coffee. 

his heart began to beat faster, his vision threatening to blur as tired eyes scanned the newcomer's body. dark hair that looked soft to the touch, expensive-looking clothes hung from perfect curves and beautiful coloured skin.

it was all too familiar.

all too real.

and something deep down was telling felix that this moment wasn’t a hallucination. something deep down gnawed at him, trying to convince himself that yes, that indeed was hwang hyunjin standing in front of him, and that no, he wasn’t just a figment of felix’s imagination, made to seem real because of his tired state.

it seemed all too real, the way the cashier blushed and shamelessly flirts with the tall boy, and the way that a slightly cool breeze had managed to enter the cafe after the door was opened but what seemed the most real was when he had looked around the cafe for a spare seat and met felix’s stare. 

the way his eyes widened and his brows creased and he almost dropped the cup of coffee as they stared at each other for maybe too long. 

felix couldn’t take it. he stood up quickly, maybe too quickly, fighting the dizziness and storming out of the cafe after slipping the money he owed to the nearest worker. he heard footsteps follow behind him, along with a familiar voice that made tears form in his eyes.

it didn’t say much- or maybe it did. felix was unaware. he didn’t get very far, because after hearing the words “felix, wait!” from the boy, the dizziness became too much, and right there on the sidewalk, he passed out into a blissful sleep, letting absolute darkness take over his body and unaware of the confused pedestrians and the worried boy crowding around him.

it wasn’t for, maybe, another few hours that felix found himself in the dream stage. completely unaware of the fact that he was in a hospital bed, being closely monitored due to passing out and having an ambulance called by a few onlookers.

he was also unaware that hyunjin was sat in a chair next to his bed, slowly dozing in and out of sleep himself. at some point, the pretty boy was in a state of deep sleep, also entering the dream stage.

and so the two once again came face to face, in the same place as usual.

a singular, large oak tree, accompanied by soft grass and delicately scented flowers, perched lonesome on a steep hill. below, nothing but a crystal blue sea- an ocean surrounding the hill in which the water was so clean and so fresh that you could see a perfect reflection. above, a sky, seemingly always changing. sometimes, it was pale blue, full of fluffy clouds. other times, it was joined by the setting or rising sun and licked with splashes of blues and pinks and oranges and purples. but most of the time, it was a lovely navy blue, with bursts of bright stars and always a full moon, no matter what time of year it was.

the two stared, eyes piercing into each other and soaking in appearances.

hyunjin noticed that felix was dressed the same as he was before he passed out, accompanied by the dark circles under his eyes that seemed clearer up close. to hyunjin, he looked like a mess.

felix noticed that hyunjin had also seemed to be wearing the same thing as he was earlier, but now closer he could notice the delicate makeup feathered on his skin. to felix, he looked like a prince.

silence fell on them, the only noise was the soft breeze gently tickling their skin.

“you’re real,” felix muttered. 

“i guess i am,” came a simple reply.

felix lifted two fingers, gently digging them into the groove of his neck. he had a pulse. why had he never checked for something like that before? 

“we’re alive. this is all real,” felix muttered once more.

hyunjin’s actions mimicked felix’s.

“i guess we are,” came another simple reply. 

before felix could another thing, his face was pressed against the taller boy’s chest and arms wrapped around him, embracing him in a hug. the inviting scent of something sweet yet unfamiliar drew him further into hyunijin’s arms, and they stood there in each other’s hold for what seemed like forever. 

it wasn’t until hyunjin felt himself being slowly pulled out of sleep by an unfamiliar voice that they pulled away. as he was woken up, the world around him started to crumble. this had never happened before.

to him, they were left standing in near nothingness, minus a white buzz of empty space and a few dark shadows. he started to panic.

“it’s okay,” he heard felix’s voice, “we have each other for real now. we don’t need the world we created.”

hyunjin nodded, gripping onto felix’s hands as the stranger kept attempting to pull him from his dream, but he didn’t want to go, not yet. 

“rest up. you’ll need it,” hyunjin muttered, and felix nods.

“i will. wake up now, jinnie. i’ll join you soon.”

what they knew of their place, once beautiful and full of colour and everything precious to them, was now gone.

all of it, gone, because now they had each other, and as long as they could hold each other close in consciousness, their place of dreamlike magic wasn’t needed anymore.


End file.
